A Noodley Effigy

September 28, 2011 § Leave a comment

Sometimes when I read the log when I first get on shift at work, I really have to wonder what my co-workers are thinking when they are making their entries. For sake of privacy and, you k now, not getting fired, I can’t actually post actual entries, but I am going to paraphrase what transpired recently.

Earlier this evening, a client had volunteered to cook a “house dinner” for everyone. This is a fairly common thing. It’s nice. Everyone enjoys it. Sometimes it can be a little stressful for one or two people to cook for 60 other women, but usually it runs pretty smoothly. For some reason, this client decides to take the plastic packages of dry pasta and stick them into the oven that at the time, she claims was not turned on, but when my co-worker checked, it was on broil. For sake of argument, we’ll just say the client put them there for safe keeping. Why? I have no idea. There’s lots of counter space. There’s no reason to put packages of pasta inside an oven. You know what’s going to happen. It happened. The pasta comes aflame and smoke fills the building, the fire alarm goes off, the works. Everyone is evacuated. Hunky firemen show up. The noodley-effigy culprit was found.

Life continues at the shelter and the client finishes dinner. My co-workers proceed to write in the log “and house dinner went off without a hitch.

The best part about this story however is the big steaming pile of suck after this where they leave me a happy little pink note taped to a yellow aerosol canister of oven cleaner asking if I can clean the oven out. Now, they asked, but since there are only two ranges and 38 women on this floor, it’s more of a ‘I need to do it’ kind of situation. So, I spent an hour sitting on a chair with elbow length rubber gloves on huffing aerosol lye and scrubbing out baked on dioxin fumes and gunk so that my clients can fry up their Jimmy Dean convenience store sausages in the morning.

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